My 20th birthday, a few months after my first trip overseas and apparently when my breasts were anything but small and humble lol.
I had bought this dress to wear out from Singapore, it was a white party because of this dress that I looveeedddd.
We packed all our bags and headed into the city for a weekend at a hotel. Friday night- close friends with drinks in the room. Saturday night - hitting the club.
Saturday night comes, I do my makeup and hair, I'm feeling great, I get changed and people comment on how good I looked.
Then....
The boy at the time, pulls me aside and asks if I have anything else to wear. Anything else to wear?! are you serious? This is THE birthday dress. Of course, I hadn't even taken a back up outfit to the hotel... why would I?
Cue the dramas!
Apparently, my dress was too low cute, and everyone would just be staring at my chest and for that reason I could not go out in that dress. It did not matter that it was my birthday or that friends were waiting for me, it made me look cheap and he did not want other people looking at his girl in that way.
I personally don't think the dress is that bad, but even if my nipples were about to say hello IT SHOULDN'T MATTER! (edited - it shouldn't matter because you picked me, you know how I am and how I dress... don't date me and THEN try and change me)
I personally don't think the dress is that bad, but even if my nipples were about to say hello IT SHOULDN'T MATTER! (edited - it shouldn't matter because you picked me, you know how I am and how I dress... don't date me and THEN try and change me)
My best friend tried to calm me down with loads of wine on the balcony, until I decided "it's my party and I'll wear what I want to" and I said goodbye to the boy and his friends, because I was going to my party. A few minutes later, they followed, the fight was over and I had an amazing time...
I still can't believe I let someone talk to me like that or boss me around, I think we all do it as younger women, before meeting our soul mates and our equals... but still it makes me so mad! How dare someone try and tell me what to do/say/wear!
Have you had a similar experience? Don't you wish you could warn younger females?
I often tell my younger friends now that they never have to put up with it. A is so proud of me, he loves when I look my best in whatever, he is proud and he loves saying this is my fiance.
This flashback Friday is a lesson learnt - never let anyone try and dull your shine.
xx
Love this post! The dress is gorgeous by the way!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer x
DeleteIts your birthday dress and it should be a birthday dress! It looks great!
ReplyDeletehehehe thanks hun.
Deleteare you serious? which guy would want his gf / fiance, etc looking slutty for all his mates to see?
ReplyDeletehahaaha I take that as you saying I looked slutty in the above photos, in my loose fitting above the knee dress. If you don't like how someone dresses, don't date them, but don't date them and then try to "tame" them or change them because of your own insecurities - that's my point.
DeleteI'm sorry to chime in here. But are YOU serious Anon? What girl would want her boyfriend telling her what she can and can't wear? It should not matter what he wants. Especially when it comes to her expressing her sexuality. (Or as you say with very little respect for women, "looking slutty") That is completely the female's realm to decide.
Deletepffft i hate guys who try and tell you how to dress! someone has issues!!!
ReplyDeleteyou looked fab in that dress! personally i wouldnt show off that much cleavage (im paranoid that people will stare LOL) but each to their own :)
luckily my boyfriend doesnt say anything about how i dress. he likes when i wear revealing things when we go out - its me thats a bit more conservative! haha. although i do have to be mindful of what i wear when we go out to his family functions - an islamic wedding with me trying to hide my pink bra peeking out of my dress constantly ... not the best look lol
Thanks Krissy, you got my point - it wasn't guys should let you wear clevage it was more like they know how you dress and should not try to change that once they become "attached".
Deletehahahahhaa maybe not ideal Krissy. A would have me do the same, he always picks tight over loose and sometimes he has to be ignored lol.
i didnt say you looked slutty.
ReplyDeleteso are you saying males will date females if they look slutty becos they will put out? or girls enjoy dressing a certain way that guys may perceive as slutty or girls might perceive that as slutty also.
its not a matter of insecurities, its a matter of being embarassed. are you saying then you wouldnt have an issue if your male partner decided to wear baby pink stovepipes you wouldnt say anything, you would think that it was ok? think about it.
no no no... i'm saying, you shouldn't start dating someone when you don't know them and in my case personally, I had been with this person for over 6months by the time I turned 20. If A wanted to wear baby pink stovepipes and he thought they looked great, I honestly would be fine with it. I might give him my opinion but then if I saw he loved it and especially if he HAD NO ALTENATIVE AT THE TIME, I would not make a huge deal about it reducing him to tears on his birthday.
Deletethere's a time and place to dress appropriately and that person above was right who said at a family func you wouldnt wear something that was perhaps revealing or "slutty".
ReplyDeletei dont know why a male would enjoy having his female partner show her breasts to the whole world through clothing. definitely not appropriate.
understand, its not a matter of teling you what to wear. i.e. its raining put a coat on, etc, its just appropriateness of clothing. and having a bit of self respect for yourself... something some girls lack these days.
This was no family function, this was clubbing and I was twenty. I'm not saying what I was wearing was everyone's cup of tea, I'm saying it is what I was happy in that night and someone who suppose to love me would see that. Just because one may where something showing some boob one nigh, does not mean they have no self respect. Clevage does not equal promiscious or junkie or homewrecker lol.
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DeleteI am not saying I know how everyone should dress or how every relationship should be... what I am saying is women should never be made feel this way by a man or their boyfriend EVER. They should never be made to feel like they are anything less then amazing because of what they chose to wear, nor should they be made to feel like what they were should be dictated to by a man. Not liking the colour of someones pants is a lot different to telling someone that what they are wearing will get too much "attention" or lower who they are as a person. I was made to feel like it did not matter who I was or what I had done for this person, because I was wearing a low cut dress. How does this define who I am? Don't try to damage my confidence, because yours is suffering.
Deletea guy wearing pink stovepipes will get as much attn as a girl wearing a top showing her nipples.
DeleteOh I had one of those boys at 17, just muchhhh much worse.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the dress looks slutty, you were a 20 year old girl clubbing.... has nobody seen what 18yr old girls wear clubbing these days??? The dress is very cute and you have boobs... not too sure when that started being considered slutty.
Ohh I think we all have, one of my exes use to question if any guys talked to me any time I was doing anything without him lol.
DeleteMe neither? ask Anonymous.
my confidence isnt suffering. my comment obviously bothered you for your to rephrase what you think. ppl (male and female) can wear whayever they want to wear. society will always judge.
ReplyDeletethere are ways to look sexy, attractive, and "unslutty" if such a word exists without needing to show off a whole lot of skin and make a partner (whether male or fem) uncofomrtable around you.
hehehe ohhh sweety I was saying the confidence of the man, not you. It wasn't personally to you it was to males who feel the need to do that.
Deleteps anyone who makes comments as anonymous will never bother me :)
Delete1. you look fabulous.
ReplyDelete2. do not let anyone EVER rain on your parade
3. I think your awesome
hehehe thank you gorgeous girl!!! xx
DeleteThis post is awesome! Especially in the wake of all the sexist commentary going on in the media / government at the moment. I think a big part of the "it shouldn't matter" isn't even that he was dating you and knew what you were like. I think it's also about the fact that you loved the dress, you felt confident in it and how dare anyone try to make you feel ashamed for that. You shouldn't have to change your dress because boys might look at you. They shouldn't look at you!
ReplyDeleteEXACCRRLT what I was trying to say! Thanks hun x
DeleteI don't think there was anything wrong with your dress! I wish I had bigger boobs to flaunt lol. And it's not like you were flashing boob in a tight mini - the rest of the dress is actually quite conservative in my opinion. Glad my hubby isn't fussed about what I wear, but will give his opinion if I ask for it (although most of the time it's "yeah that's nice").
ReplyDeleteThat was my thoughts too lol. I actually think it is pretty safe for a 20year old too lol.
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ReplyDeleteI think we have all had experiences like that. You just need to be confident but it is easier said than done!
ReplyDeleteexactly - confidence is easier said than done.
DeleteI agree with what Michaela said. I would have been devastated if my man would have brought me down like that especially after you were feeling great about yourself and loved the dress!
ReplyDeleteI think the annons should just give up!
I think you looked cute Sarah, and if i had boobs like you, i'd wear the same dress too =]
I was, I was so upset and unsure and confused. Thanks Veronica.. I wish I still had those boobs lol. x
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