I experienced my first ever wedding drama today, the first of many I am sure. Last night I went to bed super early and woke up this morning to missed calls from A and angry text messages. I called him to find out what was wrong...
After searching for months for our perfect wedding venue, we took A's dad with us to pay our deposit and book it for our wedding. A couple of weeks later A's dad spoke about having our niece's christening at our venue, because now he could get a good deal. A asked me how I felt and I said I wouldn't like it, because part of the appeal of our venue was that none of the family had held an event there and it was unique and special to us after searching for months, just to go back to the very first one we viewed. A and I told A's dad this and he appeared to understand.
Last night A was told the christening has now been booked at our venue, in another room to ours. Apparently, my reasoning was silly.
I couldn't help but cry. I was crying because our wishes were totally ignored, crying because I knew had we not booked our wedding there the family wouldn't have even thought about having the christening there, crying because our wedding will now be "you know where the christening was" for half of our guests.
I know people go to multiple events at venues all the time, but this wouldn't have happened had would not involved our families in every step of our wedding planning process and now if I want them to change I look like the drama queen, the bridezilla and the b*%ch.
What do I do? :(
I totally understand how you feel, Greek families are like this alot.. trust me I have learnt from experiences, how you react to this will stick in A's families mind for a long time to come! but in saying that its your venue and you've already booked it, try to put a positive spin on it and know that your room is different to theres, and how much time is there between the christening and the wedding? People may not really remember it, and im sure you'll decorate the venue in a way thats special to you and A..which will make a clear difference.
ReplyDeleteTry to keep your chin up x
Listen to this ! Best advice ever. Me - Coming from a GREEK girl... I know you may not like what's happening but how you behave will stick in their minds as Brunette One said and you will be type casted as the "difficult girl" I have seen soooooooooo many families do this to poor girls. Yes it's wrong and the more I fought it the more of an idiot I looked. I am one of them. I am not even married yet. Just think whatever they do you can do 100000000 times better - show them up on everything!!!!
DeleteGirls, I kept this in my mind all weekend as we had a "family discussion" and I can honestly say that I did not say or do anything I regret. I said nothing hurtful, mean or spiteful. All I said was that I can tell you how I feel and it is up to you to make a decision from that.
DeleteI know what you meand and in the past I have kept all my reactions and feelings in, because I don't want to create unnecessary drama, but this just really hurts. It feels like I am still an outsider and as the babies of the family our opinions don't even matter. We have paid a deposit and they haven't, so i'm holding on to a smidgen of hope.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the positive thoughts babe, I just really can't believe it! xx
I 100% understand what you're going through, I have a strong-minded family now on both sides and my opinion didn't matter to them much regarding my own wedding.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what YOU should do but, I, a year later still regret not saying anything when I had a chance because I'm sill angry by the huge amount of selfishness by the families.
I tried too hard not to be a Bridezilla that by the end everyone got what they wanted except me, so maybe get A to talk to them and let them know it's important to you guys.
Thanks for your support babe. I have voiced what was important to me and whatever they decide to do I will live with it, but at least now I know they ignored my wishes and they know it too!
DeleteOoooh, I'd be so mad as well!!
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you :(
I agree that you should get A to deal with the issue, but I'd kind of maybe plan in my mind for it to happen anyway. And as The Brunette one suggested, try and look on the bright side.
I'd be mad. Not a lot you can do about it now and you don't want to come across as bridezilla. Use it as an opportunity to test run the venue, little things like parking and bathroom access that you might not think of when you book a place.
ReplyDeleteDo your best to embrace it if you can :-(
Thanks Miss Directions and Missy all of these suggestions really do help and I am keeping them in the back of my mind.
DeleteThe thing is that they haven't invested any money in the booking yet (no deposits) so it is not too late. In saying that, I know it won't change :(
i just came across your blog, from Sophie at http://jemappellesophia.blogspot.com.au
ReplyDeleteAll i can say, is good luck. I married a greek, and
I have ALWAYS been the outsider, even though we have been married for 3 years, have known each other for over 10 years and now have a beautiful baby girl.
My advice would be, to pick your battles, some things are not worth getting upset about. Sounds like there will be plenty of other things to argue over.....
I feel for you :(
Thanks sweety!! This is the first drama I have had with the family in 2.5years, but I probably deserve it for previously bosting about how amazing my inlaws were!
DeleteI think you have the right to be mad and upset.. of all the places in Sydney they have to pick the same venue?? Come on? There are like 3 other venues on the very same road! regardless of getting a discount!! Speak to A and see if he can talk them out of it? or even his brother/sister to change their mind given the reasoning behind it? Gahhhh... it's a tricky one. Good luck! x
ReplyDeletehehehehe my points exactly!!! There are a milliong places!! I couldn't be mad with the brother and sister at first, because they weren't told our wishes, but now they do know, so if nothing changes I know I am just going to be even more upset!
DeleteNo family function has EVER been at this venue before... arghhhh whhhyyyy??? thanks babe!
I understand that your upset as well. But think on the flip side. It will be a trial one and its nothing like what ur wedding will be like. It will also be good cause ur guests will know where to go when it comes to your day. You will also find out what the food will be lke. And u may even find yourself poking each other and saying oh i cant wait till we have our wedding. This place is going to rock! Think on the positive side chickee, its not all that bad. Id highly recommend my reception place to all my friends as its just perfect and id want them to have a perfect day to...do u get what i mean?
ReplyDeleteThanks honey, I do know what you mean. The funny thing is that I have mentioned my venue to friends and even suggested it, but I asked that my own brother in law not go there before our wedding. Unfortunately, it is about much much more than just the venue now, but on the day of the Christening I will keep everything you have said in mind, thank you xx
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